Sad decision

I haven't heard from my dad in over a week after I left him a message and I've decided not to call back (like Big Daddy says I should) or look for anything further. He has his life and I have mine...that's just the way it is.

And I had some text conversation with my sister but after I stopped the chit-chat and asked some personal questions (I'd love to get to know her!) in a text, not a word have I heard. So, I'm done there too.

Sad thing is I would never have thought her would act this way. O-well. I need to move on because frankly, I've had so much sadness and what I would consider a hard life, I don't want anymore of it. And I'm okay with it...I guess:)

On a happy note, Domino is settlin' into his home nicely, though Spirit is a butt head when I give them lovens. He promptly pushes under Domino's neck and swings his butt around to get his outta the way. It's kinda funny but I feel bad for Domino. Spirit is a Mustang though and a little man at that. He's got an attitude;)

We also got the new deck on the front. We just broke down and paid the money for the lumber and got it done. It's so big and nice compared to what we did have. I already have my flowered pots on there. Though we do still need to treat the wood.

I guess I should get off here. I do hope it rains like it looks like it might. We need all the rain we can get. It has been hotter then two mice in a wool sock around here...I'm not a fan of Summer. I could skip it all together. I do hope to get a Fall garden put in. I need to get the chicken coop cleaned out and put in the garden. And my mom also told me about burin' wood where you need good soil. Maybe I'll get the kids to pick up all the twigs and branches to throw in there with all the cow and chicken poop. Then till that all into the ground:)

Anyhoo, have a great day!!! O-and just a random thought but I still think of Sheridan often...

New horse...new Dad:)

I love the look on Emmah's face with this pic:) This is right after Big Daddy went for a ball-bustin' crow hop ride...I told him NOT to just jump on him but to let me help him up.

Anyhow, this is our new boy, Domino. A cousin of Brandon's brought him over the other evenin', it was a nice surprise!!! This cousin is actually the only one who remembered we have lost two horses since bein' here and Spirit was soooooo lonely. My fil actually laughs when he tells the story of the tree fallin' on my Choncho...how in the world is that funny????? And he wasn't happy to see another horse come here but guess what???? It's our life, our money and our property...deal with it!!!

Domino is a POA (Pony of America) and we're not too sure how old he is. We'll get a better look at his teeth after he settles a bit. What bothers me is the look in his eyes...he looks broken. Almost a haunting look. But he is a very gentle boy who loves the kids and is really mellow, even when we introduced him and Spirit. Spirit gave the horse-y screech right to his face and he didn't even flinch:) To see them hold their noses together and give some lovens to each other was such a special moment!!!! They are pards now...though Spirit heard a horse whinny yesterday and he gave a big whinny back...maybe he thought it was my Choncho boy. I know he is still here, somewhere...and he probably already checked out Domino to make sure he was acceptable for Spirit.

Now we need to get the arena mapped out and done. We also need to get a hitchin' post put in. And after all these years of havin' every kind of tack you can think of, it's mostly gone. Where??? Who knows...I know I left some at my fil but it's gone from his shed now. We do still have a 13in saddle. All we need is a bigger girth strap and it should work fine for the kids. Though I wonder if Domino has ever had a saddle on. I'm not sure he's had a grown man on him the way he reacted yesterday to Brandon. Yeah and needless to say, after Big Daddy did the crow hop ride, the kids passed on gettin' on him lol:) It just started him a bit. I don't think the poor guy was treated nice as he's pretty flintchy with hands and ropes.

Our cousin didn't get his name (UGGGGGG...I hate that!!!) though it should be on his papers (I'll try to get those for shows and such). We finally agreed on a name for him, after a few days, Domino. And this is why...

I still feel a slight detachment from him and Spirit...I guess I am still tryin' to understand what happened to Choncho. And to feel that pain again would be too much...I have a lot of fears...

On a happier note...I FOUND MY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy cow...what a shocker. I've looked for him for over 20 years. I've never met him, talked to him on the phone once when I was 4 and didn't know who he was. I'm just in shock.

I was really bummed that with all the technology we have (like facebook) I still couldn't find him. So I went on a mad, 3 day search on fb. I found a few people I thought would be related and wrote some letters. Didn't hear anything back until last week (Tuesday the 19th:) when I got a reply and friend request on fb...from my cousin!!! He said he knew my dad well (of course) and he was a great guy. He also said he was *amazed* I had found him. I did get his number from my new cousin but...I haven't called...

To say I am confused is puttin' it lightly. I had prepared myself for never findin' him, not actually findin' him...what now??? Will he like me? What's he like? What does he do for a livin' (back in the day he wanted to ranch like his dad I think)? Does he have kids (his wife and him tried to adopt me when I was 4 years old because they couldn't have kids...mama said hell no:)

So, I really need to call him but really, what do I say???

O-I bought a pool for the kids! I did some mad sellin' online and got enough for a 15ftx36in pool. It should be good for the kids until next year when the boys are swimmin' better. I will just enjoy gettin' cooled off without the possibility of snakes and big mud cats!!! Not to mention the damned crawdads!!!!

I do need to go and get things done around here before the temps hit over 100 degrees!!! Mercy...another hot, hot, HOT summer...the plants and garden don't know what to do:)